The 4 H’s of Listening

One of the beautiful elements about listening is you can learn so much by just observing your context. At some point, however, this journey is about engaging people in our neighborhoods and networks. For many who find themselves on the introverted side of the spectrum, initiating conversations with people can create anxiety, and can feel very intimidating. We’ve put together a simple memory tool to help guide you through finding out more about a person if getting the conversation going with someone comes as a greater challenge. We call these the 4H’s of Listening.

1. History
   Tell me a little more about your story.

2. Heart Passions
   What do you love to do? What are you into? What do you love about it?

3. Hopes
   What are your dreams? What are your dreams for this (neighborhood, workplace, or third-space)?

4. Hurts
   What would you change about your life? What would you change about this (neighborhood, workplace, or third-space)?

With each question, you can see that the conversation goes a bit deeper. We’re not saying every time you have a conversation with someone that you need to hit all four. You might find that as you ask the first and the second question, however, you can naturally lead into the final two. People love to share their history. Remember, we’re story people, we were made this way. Simple asking to hear someone’s story will teach you so much about who they are, but more importantly, it will connect you in deeply relational ways.